The potential to love

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I found these words somewhere, and thought worthy of sharing…

“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The last you love may be someone you haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real–but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

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3 responses »

  1. The trick is in the 3th tier. That person should be… you! If it is not, you cannot love yourself, because you will see yourself only through the eyes of others. They indeed will control how you feel about others, and worse, about yourself. It takes a great deal of strength become that person again, since almost everyone looses this after childhood. It may sound egoistic, even narcissistic, but i’ve learned that this, for me that is, is the way to unconditional love, for myself, and for the few people around me!

    • Yes, I would have to agree with you (I just liked the words and description above – can’t remember where I found it)! the sad thing is we all struggle at some time with seeing ourselves through others eyes. My struggle as an ‘intuit feeler’ is learning to let go, not just in love but everything – recognising it’s not Me or Mine. I find the more I let go, the more free and balanced I feel, and when you do that you find Peace 🙂

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